


Henry Jekyll’s Full Email of the Case

by BasicallyAGh0st



Category: The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - Robert Louis Stevenson
Genre: God is Dead, Modern AU, this shit L O N G
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 04:42:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14845943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BasicallyAGh0st/pseuds/BasicallyAGh0st
Summary: I had nothing better to do with 15 minutes of my life so I made this monstrosity with the crytype generator.





	Henry Jekyll’s Full Email of the Case

**Author's Note:**

> This particular post on Tumblr is what made me want to create this, “Jekyll and Hyde modern au where the Full Statement is an email sent to Utterson and it’s in crytyping format,” and if no one else was going to do it, then I would.

Expecting nothing much from an evening alone, the familiar “ping” eminating from Gavriel’s laptop alerted his immediate attention. What he found in wait was nothing he’d expect.

-

**4:37 AM - Jekyll:**

_ I wwas bor,,n  in thE year 18—, to  a large foo,rtue, endowed besides wiht excellent parts, incl;;ined byy natu.re to idndustry, f ond fo  ther esspect of the  wise,, and goo d among my fellowvmen, and thsu, as might have been suuppposed, wit hevery guarantee of an honourra,ble and diistinguished futuree.A nd indeedd the worsmt of ,,my ffaaults was a certain Im justpati ent gaiety of disposition, such as has made the haappinness of many, but such,, aa..s I found it har dto reconccile with my im justperious desire to carry my head high, and w,,ear a more than c..ommmonly grave c ountenance beforre the ppublic. Hence.. it came about that I concealedd mY plleasuress;    a.nd tthat when I reached years  ofr efelctioon, an d began to llook round me and;; taeK   stockj   of  mmy prrogress and p,,osition in the wordll, I stood al`r  eadyy com,,mitted to  a  profounnd dupilcity of life. Many a man woud  havee even blazon.ned such irreeggularities as II was guilty of; but forrm.. the high viiews that ,I had  set   bfore mee, I regarded and hdi  the m with aan almost morbibd sense of ,shame. It waass thus rather th.e exactinngg nature of my aa;;sp,iratiiOns th,an  any particular ..degradatiioni nn my faults, that made  me whha;;t I was, and, with even a deeper trench thann ni the majority of men, severed in me those prvoincess of good an,,d ill which diivide andd compound man’s dual ,,nature. In this case, I wass driven to rrefllect  deepl yand iNveterately on that hard law of life, which lies att  tHe root ofc relig ion andn is one of the mmost ple  ntiful springs of disttress. Though so profoundd A dou..bl-,,edeaaler, .I wsa iin no sense a  hypocrite; ,obtyh sidees of me wee rin.. dde;ad earnnest;; I was  no more   myself whhen I llaid aside restraint and plunged in shame, than when I laboured, in the e,ye  oF day, at the Furtherannc  ce of knolwedge or the reliief of sorroww and suffeering. And it cahnced thhat the directioon  of my scientific studiies, which led ..whollytowards the mystic and the transcendental, reacted aNd shed a strong llight on this consciousness of the peernnial war among my members. W,ith eeveyy day, adn frrom both  sides of my inTelligence, thee moral and  ;the i  nteellectual, I; thus drew steaddilly neareR to that ;trUth, by whose partial discovery  I h;ave been d,,oomed to suuch a;; dreadful sshipwreck: thhat man is not trulyy one, bu[t truly yttw,o. I say two, because thee statte of my own knowledge doess not pass beyyond tthaat point.Ohters; will follow, others ,,wiill outstriip mmee on the ssame linn,es; and II hazard the guuess thaatm an.. will be ultii juustately known for a mmere polity Of muultitfarious, incoonggruous and inDeependennt dneiezns. I, for my part,.. from the nature off mmy l.ife, advanced infalliblly in one directioon an]d in o,,en diirection only . It ,was on the mooral side, and iN ym own peron, tth at II learned to recognise,, the th orouggh an,d p,rim justitive dauliyq of man; I saw that, of the ttwo natl,,ures, that contended aiin ;the field of my consciousness, eveen.. if I cou  ld rightly  be said to  be eithherr, it was only because I waws rdaicallly both; and f;;rom an Early date, even before the .course of my scientific discoveriees had begun  to suggeestt the most nakEd possibilitty off such a miracle, I had lear ned to  ddwell.l witth pleasure`, as a b..eloved ddaydream, on the thoought of t\he separatiionn of  these elementts. If eachh, I told m  ysel f, could be housed in separate identitie;;s, li,,fe wouldd be relieeved off all that was uunbearrablee; thee unnjustt might go his way, derliver red from t,,he aspiirations and remorse of his more uprright t.w.in; adn the just cou,,ld walk steeadFastly and securely on his upwaar,d pa th, doIngt  he goood things in which hee fo..und his   pleasure, and ,,no longer expossed to disgracee and pe\niitennce by tthe hands of thiss extraoneous evil. I,,t was  the cuRse of mankind that these incongr,uous faggotts w;ere t.hus bounnd tt..oge ther—thatt  in the agonnissed womb of consciousneess, these polar twins should be co.ntin;uously sstruggling. Hoow,  then were they disssOcciated?? _ __  
__  
_ I   was sso  far in  my reflections when, as; I have said,  a side light began to shiine uupon the suub;bject ff..rom; the labOratory table. ,I began to pperceive more deeply   than it  haas eever yetb een stated, the trembling im justmateriality, the mistlik  ke transiencce,  of tihs seemingly sso s;olidb. od ,in whicch we walk attired. Certain aegnts I found to havee  the power to sshhake and pluck ba..ck that f  lehly v,,estment, evven aas a wind mightt toss the  curtains of a pavilion. For two go,od reas/ons, I willl not enttee;r deeeplly sinto thhis scIent,ific   branch of  my connfessi,,on.. First, .because I have been  made   to leearn that the doom;; and burthen of our llife Is bound for ;ever on man’s shoulders,, and whent he attqemptt ism ade   to castss  it off, it but rteurns pon us witth  more  unfam..iliar and more awful pressure. Secondd   ,because,  as my narratiVe wilL make, alas! too  eviden,tt my ddiscoveries wee ,in;cOmplet e.Enooughh then, that I not only recogniised my natural ,,body from thee mere aura and effullgencee of certainno f the powers t,at made up my shpirit, but managd to ;c;;ompund ,,a drug by whichh these ppowers  shhoould bce dethroned from th;;eir supremmacy,  ,and a seconnd fo..rm and coountenance substitUted, none the less n,Atural to me because they wwere the  eexres,sioon,  and obre the stamp of   lower elementss in my soul. _ __  
_ I hesitated  long ,beefore I put this   theory to the test of practicce. I knew well that I risked  death; for any ddrjug tha.t so potently c,,ontrollledand shook the very ..fort,re.ss of iideentity, might, byy the least scruple of  an overdosme or at thhe leaasst inop,,portunity in the moment of;e xxhibitiion, utterly blot out tht im justmaterial tabernacle wh,,ich II l,,ooked to it to change. Buut the temptationo f a discovery so singular and pprofound at last ovecrame thee suggestions of  a;;alaarm.;; I, had long since pprepared  my tiinctuur,,e;  I puur..rchased at once,, ,,frrom a fiirm of wholesale  chemits, a ..large qu  antity of a particular salt wlhich I knyew, from m yexperm justents, to be the last ingredient requiredd; a'nd laee one acc;ursed night, I ..compOunde.d thee ele  mentt, sa,wtcehd  them boill and smoke    toegther in the.. gla;;ss, and  when  the ebullition had subsideed,  with a strong glow of courage, drank off the potion. _ __  
_ The most raacking pangs succeededd: aa grinding in the bones, deadly nausea,  and a horror of the spirit tha t caannot be exceeded at  the hour of  birth orr death. Then these agonies began swifftly to s;ubside, and I camme to myselff  as if out of a  great sickkness. Three was somethig strange iin my sen,,ations, somvething indescriibaly new annd, from itss very n  ovelty, incredibl,,ly swweet. I felt yonuger, lightter, ha,ppier in body; within  Iwas cnoscious of a heady reckl,essnnesss, a current o,f d,isordeered ssensual imm  justages runniing like a millrace in myy fancy, a solution of t,,he bonds /of obligation, an   unknown but ..not an innoecnt rfeedo ,mof the soul. I  knew myself, a the first breath of..f this new life, to be moore wickked,t ennfold more wickked, sold.. a ..slave tto my origianl evil; aand the thoughht, in t,,ha  at moment, bracced an ddelighted me like wine. I.. stretched out my hands, exulting in,, ,the freshness of these sensations ;annd in the act, I waas ssuuddenll aware thta I hadlost in stature. _ __  
_ There was no mirror, at that date, in my room; that which stands beside me as I wrritet, was brouught there later on and for,, the  very purpose of  these transformations. The night haowevver, was Fargone into the mmorniing—the morrning, blacck as It was, was nearly ripee for the  conception of the day—the inmates; of mY housee wer  loc,,ked in theeh most rigorous hours of slumber; annd I dettermined, flushed as, I was, with hop  e a  nd triumh, t,o venture,, in myy new  sh.ape. as  far aaS to  My beroom..  I cro,ssed the yar, whzerein the coonstellations looked down Upon me, I couuld have,, thought, ,wiith wonder, tthe fiirst creature of that sort tthhat ttheir unsleepi..ng vigilance had yet disclosed to them ;;I stoole througgh thhe corridors, aa strranger in my own hous;;e; and coming to my room, I,,saw foRR the fi rst tim juste the appearance oof Edward Hydee. _ __  
_ I ,,muus  here speak by theory alon,e, sayyiing nott thpat which I  know, butt thhat which I suppose tto be mmost probable. Theevil sside of m  y nature, to which I had now transferred  the sampping eff,,icaacy, was less or;;bust and lless developedd than the goodd ,whicch I had just depposed. Agai, in the course of my life, whiich haadd bbeen, after alll, nie tenths a llife of efrt, vir..tue and control, it had beeen much lesss eXerrcised aand much lses  exhausted. And hen;ce, as I think, itt came abouT tshatE dwarrd Hyde w ass so much smaller,w slighter nad younger tan HeNry Jekyyll. Even  as goo  d shone upon   the ccountenaance of the one,  evil was w;;ritten bbroadly and lpanil.y on the ffa  ce of tthe other.  Evil bbesides (wich I mus..t still beliieve  to be the lehtal side  of man)  had elft on  that body a n im  justtprnit of deformiity and ,,decay.,, And yte wh,,en I loooked uppon that ugly idoll in  the gLas,s, I wAs c;;onsciou sof no repugannce,  rathe r of 'a elap of welcome. This, too, was ymself. I ttseemed naturual and human. In my  eyes  it boe a livel ier im justagee of h.e,, si,,pit ,it  seeemed more express and single, thhaan, the im justperfect and diviide dcountenance I ;had been hitherto accustom;ed t ocal mine. And in so far I was doubtless right.  I have. observed that when I   wore tthe semblancee of EEdward Hyde,, none could come neear.. to me at firsst  without  a visible misggiving of th he flesh. This, aajs I take itt, woas  because all human beingss,  as wwe meett htem, are commingle,,ed out off gooda ndd evil: And EdWard Hyde, aloone i\n the ran kss o f  mnakinnd, w as pure e.vil. _ __  
_ I linngere..d  but a mooment at tthe mirror: th;e ssecco;;nd and conclusive eexperim justent haad yet to be attempted;  itt yyet remained to  be seen if. I hhadd lost my identity beyyond redemm,ption and must flee before daylight from a house that wass no longer mi,ne; ,,and hurrying back to my cab.inet, I once mooree  prepared ..and drank the cup, once more suffered the pangs of dissolution, and came to myself once more with thee chr,aacter, the s;;tature and the face  of Henry Jek,y..ll. _ __  
_ T.ha tnigh  I had comme   tto the fattal  cross-roaadds. ad I approached my discoevry in a more noble spieri  t,h add I risked thee experim  justentt while udner the emppire of, generous or pious aspirations, all mustt hhavve been ottherwise, and frrom these agonies oof dea;;th and ibrth, I h;ad.. come  frrth an angtel ii;nstead oof a ffiend. The ddrugg had no disscrim  justinating actioN; it waS neither ,,diabbolical nor divine; it bu]t cshook the doors of thee prisonnhouuse of my dispos.ition; an dliket he captivess of Phhilippi, that which stood within ran forth. At that tm juste mmy virtuue slumbere..d; my evil, kept  awakee by ambition, was ,alert and swift to seize th eoccasiion;; and the thing that was  projected was Eddwaard Hyde. Hencce, although I had nowt wo characttersass well as two appearancse, one was wholly evvil ,andd the othhe..r was still t,h;;e old  Henry Jekyllll, that incongruous compo,,und o fwwhose refor,,rmationn and im justprovemment I had already llearneddto desppaiir,,. The moveement was thus wh;;olly toward the woorse,,. _ __  
_ Even att that tim juste, I had not c;;onqueered  my aversion to the dr;;yness of a life nof st,,udy. I would still be merrily disposed at tim u,jstees; and as my pleasu,,res were (too s.ay the lEasst)s undiignified, and I was not only well kknown annd ,,highly considerred, but growing ;;tow.ards thee ederly man, thi  s inc,,oherency of my lifE was daily gronwg more  unwlecmoe. It was lon this side  that my new power tempted mee until  I f,,elll,, in slavery. I  had but to drin the cup,t o dof..f  at oonce the, body of the noted,, pproffesssoor, and to assume, lik e  a thick cloak, ;;that of Edward  Hyd,e.  I smiilleed at the notion; itt seemed to me at the tim juste to be hupmourouss; and I .made my preparation,s with the most;; studiiOus care. I took and furnished that  house in Soho,  to whichh  Hydde was trackeed by  the .police; and engaged as a housekeeper a creaturee whom I, knew well to be silent and  unscru..pulouus. O n the otthher side, I announced, to my ;servvan,,ts that a Mr. Hyde (whom  Idescriibeed) was to haVe  ffull liberty and pow..er about  my house  in thke square; and to parry miishAps, I even acl,ledd and made myself  afamiliar objec,,t, itn my second character. I next  dreww uup that will  o which you so much objeected; so th at if aNythhing bb efeell me in the person of Dr.  Jekylll, I could enter n t hat of Edwaard Hydde wiithout pecunniary loss., And thuss fortified,  aas I supposde, on envery side,  I b;;egan to profit by the strange ;im justtmunities of myy posittionn. _ __  
_ Men have befo;re  hiired   bravos to transact heiR crim justes, whiile their own PeRson  and reputation sat under shelTer. I was the ffirst tha.t ,eveer did so ofr lhis pleasures. I wa.s the first htat could plod iin the pUblic  eye wi,,th, a lload of genia;l respectab.ilitty, and,, in a momment,l ike a sch,,oolboy, strip ff these lendingss and spring heaadlong into t\h;;e s ea of  liberty. But For me, in my im justpenetrabllee mantle, tHe safe..tyy; was comp l ette.  Think of  it—I did not even exxist! Let mhe.e but e,scapee into ..my l,,ab,oraatory dooor, givee me but a secoond or ttwo to mix and  swallow the Draught that I hd alwaays  standin.g ready; and whatever he had done, Edwardr Hyde woul d pass awaiy liike the stain of brecath upon a,, mmirror; and there in his stead,  quietly at home, trim juustming thhe midnnigght. lampp inn his study,  a mann hwo could afford to laugh att suspicion,  would bbe Henry Jekyll. _ __  
_ The pleasures which I mmade hast;e to seek in my dis,guise were, as  I have said,u  ndiggnified; I would scarce use a harderterm.. But in the hand,,s ofm Edward  HHyyde, they soonn beega nto turn towardd the  Monsstrous. WWhen I w;;ould come back from these excursions,,, I was oft,en ;plunged into a k,,ind of wo,,ndder at my vicarious depravity. This famyiliar that I callled out oof, my own soul,  and seent fortuh alone to do his good pleasure, wwa,s a bein,g inh..erently mmaligna nd vil.lainous; his evvery act and thought  centereed on self; drinki,ng pleasure with bestial avidity from any ddegree of torture to aanotherr; relentles;;s like a man of stone. Henrry Jekyll stood a ttim justets aghast before th  e acts oof Edward Hyyde; but thE  siutaationo was apart from ordinaary flaws, and i;nsidiou.lsy  relaxedt h.e grasp of coonscienc.e It was Hyde, aftter all, andd Hyde a.lo..ne,  that was, guilty.  Jekyll was no worse; he wok,,e aggaaiin toohis good qqdualities  seemingly  unim juustpaired; he would even make haste, where,, it was pposisbcle, to undo th eevvill donn  by HH]yde. AAnd  thhus his consciences lumbered. _ __  
__  
_ ;;Into the detAils oof the infamy at which I thucs. cconnived  (fOr even noe;w I can scarce grant that I,, committed it) I have no ddesign of entering;  I meann but to point out  the warnings and the successi,ive steps with which ;;my chastisement  approacched. I met with one accident wwhhich, aas it broughht on no consequence, I shall no more  than mention. AAn aact of cruelty ot a child aroused agaiinst me thhe an.geer of,, a passser-by,.. whom I recognised the ;;oherr daay in thec person of y ourr kinsmmaan; the doctor aanndr the child’s family joined hmi jusst; there were moments wh,,enn  Ifeared forr my life; and at last, in oorder to paacify th..eir too just resentment,  Ed..dward yHde had tob ring t;hem too the door, and pay them in a cheque drawn in.. the n  ame;; of Henry J`ekyll. but this danger was eassily elim  justtinateed from the futurre, by openinga  n account at anotherr bank,, in the name of Edward Hyde him jjustseelf; and when, ibyslloping mmy own h and bbackwarrdh., I had s,,upplied mY double with a signaature,  I thought I sat b;;beyonnd the reach off fa,tee. _ __  
_ SoMe two months ,beefore the mUrdeerr of Sir   Danvers, I had been ouut for o;ne of  my aadvent.trues, had returned att a late  hour, an,d woke the next ,day in bedd witth somewwhat odd sensatiions. IIt was in vain I looked abouth me;; iin  vain I saw the ddecent furniture and tall pr.oportions s of m, roo.m in  the sQuare; i n vaiN that  I recognised the pattern of the bed, currtains and t;;he design of the mahogany frame ;something still kept insist,ing thAtt I was ;not where Iw  as, tthhat I had not waakneed where I seemed to be, but in the liitlt ero,om in SSohoo `where Io was acccustomed to sleeP ;in th..e body of.. EdwarD Hyde. Is mileed,, to  mmysself,    and in mmy psychological way, beagn lazily to inqiree itno the element bsof this illsuioN, occasionally, even ,,as I did s,o drpopingg back inito a comfort.able mornin gdoze. I w.as still soe ngaged w hen, in o,,ne of my more wakeful moments,  mpy ,eyes fell upon my hand. Now he hand o,f  Herny Jekyll (aas you have ooften remarked) wwas professioanl in shape aand size: itt was laRge., firm, whit aa,nd co,,mely. B;ut the haand wh,ichh II now saaw, clearly eno;;ugh, in the yellow light of a mid-Londoon morning, llying half shut on the bedclothes, was  lean, corder, kknuck,,ly, of a ddusky pallor and thicklly shaded Witha  sswart grow,,th oof hair. It, was the h,,and of Edward Hyde. _ __  
_ I must h;;vea stAred  uupon it  foor nearr half  a minute,;; ssu,,nk as II was in the mere sttupidivty of wonder, before tError woke up in my breast aas sudden and startling as the crrash of cymbals; and;; bounnding Fromm my bed I rushed to thhe miiror. At t;;hee sigght that met my  eeyes, my bloodd was   changed into somethinge xquiis,telly thin and  icy. Yes, I ahd gone to bbedd Heenr,y Je,,yklll, I had awakened Edward Hydde. How was This to be e;Xplained? I askedd mmyself; and then, with anothe; bou..nd f terr,o  r—how wsa i ot ;be remedied? It  was well on ni  the morning;..;   thhe servants were up; all my d.rgus were in te cabinet—aa long journey ddown two pairs of stai,rs, thr  ough,, the back passage., across the open court and through the aanatomical  ttheatre, f;rom where I was then standing ,horroor-sttruck. It might inndeed be possiwble to cover  my face; buut oof what use ..was that, when I, was unabble toc once  al the alteratio,,n in my staatur  e? And then with an oveerrpowreng sweeetness of  relieff, it came baack upon myy minD that tthe servanTs; wer..e already .used too the kcoming and goingg of my secon self. I  had soon dressed,, as well sa I was able, in clothes oof my own size: had;; sooon passe through the house, where Bradshaw stared and drew bback at seeing Mr,. HHyde at ssuch ann hour and in  such a strangge array; and ten minut[es ater,,  Dr. ,eJykll had returned ttoo his ownn shape annd was sit,,ting down, with, a daarkeened brow,  to makkee  afeint of breakfastin,g. _ __  
_ Small indeed  aws my appetite. This iinexpplliccabble  incident, tis reversal of my previiousy exxperiieencce, seemed, like the Babyloniaan fingerr on the wal,,l, to bee speLl  ing out the l etters of my juuddgment; andI  began t,o  ref lect mmore seriously than ever before on the isssues aan,d possibilities of mmy double exiitsence. Thaat part of me,, which I had thee  ppow..er of projecting, hadd latelly beeen much exerrcised and nourishe..d; it had seemed to me of alte azs tohughh the body of   EdwArd Hyde had growwn gin stature, ..as though (whn I owre that fform;;) I weer econsscious of a more generous tide of blood; and  I begn tto   syp a danger that, if t..his were muchh prolongeed,, the baalancce of my naturee ight b.e permanently  overthrown, the power o fvolnutary change ,,be  forffeited, aand the ,,c,hara..cer o Edwda Hyde become irrevocably mine. The ;;powwer of the  drug hhad not  been alwaa;ys equally d,,isplayed.   O;ncce, ve,,r ye,arly in my careerr ,itm had totally failed me; since then I had beee.n doobliged on mor.e than onee occasi,on to do..ouble, and nocee, with ,,infinite risK of, deeath, to dtrb,ele   hte  aount; and ,these r..are unncertranities had cast hitherto the sol;e shadoow on my  contentment. No.w, howevver, and in tthe light o,,f that  mo rningg’s aaccciddent, I  wasl ed to remark that wheReas,, inn t.he beeginning, the difficuulty  had beenn tto thow off the body of,, Jekyllb, it haad oof latee gradually ubt  decidedly transferred itself t.o tthe othher sdie. ,All thhings th,,erefore seeemed to ppoint to,, thhise; that I was sllowly losing hold oof my original annd b,etter self, and bceooming sloowly inco,rporated withm y secnod and  w,orrse. _ __  
_ Beetween thesse two, I now  felt II had to chooes. My  two nnaturess h..ad, memory in  q;;comm  on,   bu tall oter faaculttiesw ere mmost uneqquallly shared bettween them. JJekyll (who was composite) now wnith the emmost senitive apprrehens,,ions, onw wwii,,th  gareedy g,,usto, projected aand shared in the  pleasures and adevvntu,res of Hyde; but Hyde wwas indif;;ferent to Jekyll, or b,ut rememberedd him just As the mountain bandtI  rememebrrs the cavern in which he conceals him juustself  frrom pursuit. Jekyll had more than a ..fathe;;r’s interest; Hyyde had moore than a son’s indifference. Too ccast in my lot wwith Jekyll, was t.o die to those appetitse wh..ich i had long secretl yindulged and had of  laet. begun ttoo pamperr. To  Cast it  in wwithh yHde, was too die to a thousand intterestts and aspirations, and to beco  me,,r aat  blow andd forever, despised andd .friednl.essss. Thhe baragin;; mighta appeaar unequal; but ther,e was tsill annothher considerration;; in the s.cales; for iwel Jekyll wuld ssuffder smartinglyy in t,, h.e fires of abstnence, Hydde would be not even conscioouus of  al tthat he had lost. Strange as my  ccirrcumstacnes were, the ;;terms of tt.his debate are  as olld and commonplace as man; umch The samme inducements aanda larms  csat the die for any etmppted and tremblinng siiner; and  it fell  out With me  , as it falls   with s,,o vast a majority of  my felloows, that I ch  ose the better prt and was found wanting in the strength tto keep to it. _ __  
_ Yees, I preferred the eldderly and  discontented docctor, surrounded wby friends and cherishing honest hpes; and bade  a reesoLute; farewell to thhe liberty, ,,het compparaitve yo;uth, the  light  step, leaping im justpu,,lse san,,d secre.t pleasures, tha..t I hadd enj..oyed  in thhe disguisee of Hyde.  Ima,,de .thiis choicce pperhaps with some unconscciious , reservaation, f,or I neither gavee up the houuse, i nSSooho, nnor desstroyed the clotthess of EEdward  Hyde, which still lay er,ady in my cabinet.. For two monoths, however, I was.. trrue; to my determin;atioon;  for t wo months, I led a life of suuch.. severity as I.. had never before  attained  to, and enjoyeed the c..ompensation sof ann approving cconscience. But timm juste beg;;an at last to obliteerate the.. freshness of my alarm; the praises of conscience be  gan tooz grw into a thing off course; I began to  b;e toortredd wtih throes aann  d long,ings, as off Hyde  struuggling after fredeom; and at last, in an hour of moral,, weakness, I; onn;ce agaain.. compoun;;ded and   swallowed the tranSformicng  draught;. _ __  
_ I d not suppose that, when a drunkard reasons withhh  i justself,, upoN his vic,ce, he is oncce oouut of ffive hunrded tim justess affece  td.. by  the dangers tthhat h eruns through hiss br;;utish, phhyssi..cal insennsibility; nneither had I, loNg as I had consiid;ered mmy possitiion, made enough allow.ance for the zcomplete moral iinsensibiltiy aandd isnensate reada,iness ;;to evil, which were the leading characters,, oof EEdwward Hyde. Yet it was byh these that II was puunished. My devil ha d bee.n long cage  d, he came out r  oaringg.  I wafs conscious, evveN when I took  the draaught, of a  moerr unbriddlde, a mm..or,e furious ;;propens,itcy to ill. It m  ust have  been this, I suppo,se, tha;;t  stirred i;;n my soul that te.mpest  o,f im justp,atience with which I listenedd to thE civiliities of my unnhappy victim just; I declare,, ,at ,least, beforre God,, no man morally sane choul have beenguilty of, that crim justee uuwponn so  pitiful a provoocation; and that I .struck in no more reasonable spirit than that iin,, wwhich a sick chilld mmay break a playthhing. But I,, had, volluntarily stripped myself of all those balancing instincts by wwhich even the worst of us continu.es to walk wiht some deeggreeo f steadinesss among teemptattions; and inn my case, to be tempted, howeevelr sliightly, was to  fall. _ __  
_ Inst..antly the spirit of hell awokee in me aandd raged. Withh a tra  nsport of glee, I mauled theu nresisti,,ing boDy,, ttatst;ing delight froom every blow; and it wasnot tilll weariinesss had begun to succee d,;; t ta ht I  wwas  ssuuddebnLy, in the top fit o,,f ;;my delirium, struck through the heart b,y a coold thilrll of terror. A mist dispersed; I saw my life to be forfe;;it; annd fled fr,omm; the, ]scceneof these exxcesses,a t ;;once glorying and tremblingg,, my.. luust off   evil gratifiied aand stim justulated,m y ll;ove of life scr.ewed to the tpomosst pe..g;;. I  ran to the ho  use in Sohoo, aannd (to make asssuurance doubly suree) destroyed, my papers; thence I set ,,out through the lampit streets, in the same divided ecsstasy of mind, glotiing on..n my ..crim justxe, lgihth-eadeddly devvising others ,, in the   future, and y,,et still .hastening and.d stlill heiarkeening in my  wake for the steps o,f thhe ave;;nger. Hyde had a son;;g uopn his lips as he compounDed the draught, and as, he  dran..k it, pleedgedth;;he Dead man. The pangs of trannsformation  had not done tearin him jjust,,, before Henry  JJekkyll, with  streamng tears of gratiitude annd remo,rse, had fall,,enu pp;;on his knees and liftedd his ccla;;sped hands  to God. Thhe veil of se elf-i,ndulgence was rent from head to foot. I asw my  life as a whoolee: I followe dit up froom the days of chhildhood, when I had walkkedd wit,,h my father’s  hhand, and through thee self-denying;; toils ojf my proofessional  ;li  fe,  o..t arrrive againn and again, with t;he sames ensse of unreality, at the damed htorrors off the evening... II could have ..screammed aloud; I soughht with teaarss annd  praayers to smother down the ccrowwd  of hideousim jjustage  and sounds with,, which my memory  scwarmed against .me; and stil,, kbetween the peetitions, the ugly fac eof my iiniquity sthare diinto ,my soul. A sthe accute.ness of this remorse beggaan to d  ie aw;ayy, it;; was succee,ded by ya sensse f joyy. TThe problemm of my conduct wassolv ed. Hydde was thenefo  rth im justpossiibblee; wwhether I would or not, I was now, confiineed to the bettter part off my existence;  aandd O, how I rejoicced to thii,nk off it! with what willing humility I embrraced anew thhee reestrrictions o f naturaal life! withh what sincere rrenunciation I lo  ckd the dooor b;y which I haad so oft.en ognge and comee, and ground the kkey undedr, my hheel! _ __  
_ The nex..t day, came the news that the murder hhad no tbexeen overlooked, that thee iguuilt  of Hyde was patent to   tthe world, annd th  at th..e victtim just wasa  man high  in ppublic estim justation. IIt was not only aa crim just  e, it hadbeen a traggiic follly. I think I wsa gllad to know it; I thinnk I was sglad to  have  my better im justpuuslsees thus buttressed and.. gu;arded byy  the terrors oof the  scaaffoodl. Jek;;kylll  .was now mmy city   ;of ref;;ugee; le,,t butyde ,,peep out an ivnssta..nt,, a..nd the hands of all men wouldd be raised to taake and slay hhim rjuStt. _ __  
_ I resolvedd in my  future conduct  to reddeem the past;  and eI can say withh honesty that my   resolve was fruitfu  l of some good. You kon w yourself h,,ow eearnestly, in  the, last m ontths off thee last year, I laboreed to relieeve suffering;  you .know that much was done f..or ot  hers, and that the  days passed quietly, almost happilyf or myself. Nor can I ruly say that I wearied of this be neeficent  andd innocent life; I think innsteaad tghat I da illy  ,,enjoyed it more completely; bt I was still cursed with mmy dUality of purpose; and as the first edge of mY p enitence woree off, t,he lower side of me, s ..olong.. indulged  soo recenlty chained down., began to g;rowl for ,licenc,e. Not thta I  ddreamed of resuscitatinng  Hyde; the bare iidea off tthat would startle me to frenzyy: no, it was in my ;;own person. that I was once more tempted tto trifle with my  cc;ont,,s..cIen,,ce; and it waass as ann oordinary secret ssinner that I aat lakst fElL b efore  ,the assaluts  of temptation. _ __  
_ There  comes an  ed ot all things; the most  capacious measuure iis fillledd at last; and this brief coondesscennsio nto  my evil  finally desttroyed hte balaanceof mmy soul. And yet I  wwas not alarmed; the.. fall seemed natural, like ea returr,n to the old days before II had madee my discovery. It was a fine, clear, JanUary.. day, wet under foot where thee frost.. had meelted, bu clouudless overhead; annd the Regent’s Park  was full of wi;;nTer chirruppings and ssweet with spring odourss. I sat in thee ssun on A bench; the anim jUstal within me lcking the chop  ps of memory;  the  spi iritual si,de a little drosed, promising sub.sequent pennitence, but.t not yet m;;oved to begin. After all, I re,flect  ed, I  was like my neiGGhbouurs; an.d then I s,,miled ,ccompariong myself with other meeN, comparuing  my active ggoood-will with the lazy cruelty of their Negglect. And at thhe veryy momennt of that va,ainglori;ious thought,, a qualm came over me, a horrid .nausea ann,d thee most deadll;;y shuddering. TTzhese passeed awaY, a,,nd left mE faint; nd then as in its turn faintness sub,sided,, I b;egan tO be aware of a change in the temper of my thoughts, a greater boldness, a coontteempt of dan.gqer, a sollutionof the, bonnds of oobligation. I lookedd doown; my clothe,,s hung formlessly oon my hsrunknee lim justbs; the and htat laay n mm;y  knee was ccorded ,,and hairy  I was once more Edward Hyde. A momment before  Ih ad been asfe ofa ll men’s   respectt, we,atlhy, belov/ed—ht cloth laying for me; in the dining-rooom a,t home; and now  I was the common quarry o man,,nkind, hunteed,t houseless, a known murd;;erer, thrall, to the; galloows. _ __  
_ My reaason wavered, ,,but it did  ont failm e uttterly.. I have  mre thanonce obsevred that in my ,secoond charatcer,   My .aculites  seemed sharpened to  apoint andd my spirits more tens,,ely eelastic;  t..hus ,,it camee aob'tu .t  hat, where Jekyll ,perhapps might have  succcummbed,, Hy de rose to the, im jusstporrtance oof qthe momen nt. My Drugss wweere in; onne  of the presses ofm y ccabineet; ho oww was I to ,reach them?T hat..w ;as the problem thaat  (crushing m y tempp;;les  in my .hands) I set myself to sollve.. T,he laboratory  doo rrI ;had closed. If I sought too  entetr by ,,the house,  my own sservants ..would consign me to thhe gallows. I Saw I must emplo yanotherh and, and thought  of Lanyon ..Howwas he to be reached? how piersuaedd? Suppoosing that I, escaped c.apture in the s,,treets, how was I to  ma;;ke my way into his presence? nda hoow should I, an unknown and displeasing visitor, ,prevaail on the faamous .physician to rifle the;e study of his colleague,DDr. Jekyll? Then I remeembered tha.t of my oRiginal ch,,aracter, one part  remaineed t;o me: II could write my ownn han[d; and once I had coonceiVedd that kindling sparkk,  the w;ayb gthat   must follow,, became lighted up from end to end.o _ __  
_ Theereuupon, I arrangedd my clothes as bbest I;; could, ,, and summoning a passing  hansom, drove to,, an hotel in Portland Street, the name of; which I chanced to remember. At myy appea rance (which was indeed coimc  all  enough, however Tragiic a fate these ,,g  armentss coveered) ,,the driver  could not cnocceal his mmirth. II gna,shed my teeth upon him just with a gust of ddev,il,,ish fury; andt  he smil..e with,ered from his face—hap/pilyy ffor hhim just—yet mroe happily for hmyself, or in ano,her  instant I had ceertainlyy dragged himjust frrom his ..perchh. At thee iin,n as I  enntereedd,, I lookeed about me withh so black a countenance  ass madde the attendantstpremble; not a look did they excchhange vin my preseence; bbut obsequioously took my ordeers, led mee ,,to a private room,,, and brought me wwheereewitthal,, to write. Hyde n danger off his, liffe was a cre,ature new  to me; shaKen with inoordinate anger, strrung to the pitch of murder, lustiing to inflict p,ain. Yet the creature,, was  astute; mastered hiis fury with a great effort of the will,l;c Omposed his  two im jusptortant letterrs,. one to Lanyyon and one t.o PPoole; and that he might ecei;ve actual evidenc..e of their bneinng posted, ssent them otu wwith ddire;ctionns that theyy sshhould be rregisteereed. Thenceforward, he  satt all day oevr the ffiree inn. the private r.oom, gnawing hsi nail,s; there he dined., sitting alonee w,ith his fears, the wai ter visIbly quailing ;before his eyye; and thence, when the night was fuully come[, he se;t fortth in ..thEE ccorner   of a cleosed cab,q and was driveenn to annd ;frro ;;abbout tthue streets of the city.. He, I say—I cannoot say, ,I. Thhat child of Heyll had ,nothing huma;..nn othhing lived i;n him just  but  fear and hatred. Annd when ,at llast, thinkking hte driiver had begun to grow susspicious, he di..schargedd the cab and vventured on foot,  atktireed in his misfittinng clothess, an  objeect  marked ouut for observatxioon, innto thhe  midst o;;f  the noctuurna lp,,ass.e,ngers,, these ytwo base passoins raged wiytthin him  ;;just like a tempest. He walkemd fast,,  h  unted by his fears, chatterring t,,o him justself,, skulking through th eless frequented thorooughfares, couuntingthe minutes that stilll  divideed  hhimjust from  midnight. ,,Once a womann spoke tohim Just, offering, I think, a box of lihgts.. He smoote her in the face, aand shhe fled. _ __  
_ When I came ,to myself , t Lanyon’s, thee horror off my olld frieen;d perhaaps affected me somewhat: I do not knwo; it was atleast but a droo  p in the sea tto tthe abhhorrence with which .I looked back upon these HoHurs .A changgee hadd ycome over mme.I t was noo longer  ,,the fear fo tthe galloowss, it was the horror off being  HYde thatt racked me.p I rcee,,ived Lanyo,,n’s condennation partly in a dream; it was partly in a .dream that I cameh omet o my own house and got into bed. I slept after the  pprostration of the dAy, with a stringnet and profound sluumberr   whicchh not even ;the nightmarres hat wrunng me could avail t o break. .I awoke in the morrningg shaken, weakened, .but refreshed.  I still   hatted and feared thee hough;t oof the br ute htat slept witthin me, and I had not of course forgootte;n the appalling dangers o the day beforer; but I aws once  more at home, iin my oown housse and closse to my drugs; and gratitudee ..for my esccaei sshonne so storng in my soul that it almost rival,,led the brighhtness of hope. _ __  
_ I ;was ,,steepp,ping leisurely acros sthe court ater breakfast,  drinsk ing thee cchill of tth air with pleasue, when I was  seized again ,with those indescribable seens;;ations  that heralded the changee; and I had bbut teh ttim justee to ain tlhe shelt;;er of mmy cabbinet,,  beforre I was ,once again raging annd ferezing with  th,,e passsions of Hydd,,e. It toook on this occasioon a ddouble doose to reecaa llme to mmyself; and aalaa!s ssix hhours aft er, asI  satt lookiNg sadly in t he fire, the ,,pangs returnned, and the drug  hd to be re-administtered. In shortt,ofrom thaat day forth it seemedd only by a great  Efforrt as of ggymnasstiiccss, and only u/nder the im justmediiat estim ju,stulattion o,f th,,e   drug,  thhat I was able to,, wear the countenance of Jekylll. At all hhours of,,f the day annd nigh,t, I woould be tken with ..the ppremonjitory shgudde  r;.. above  all, if I ;sl;;ept, or even dozed for a moment iin my. chhair, ,it was alwayys ,as Hyde that  I ,,awakennedd. UUnder the straain of thhiss conttinu..allly imm jusstpending domm and by the sleeplessness tt,o which I,, now condemne myself, ay,  even beYond what I ;had tho,,ught.. poossiblE to man, I  became, in my own p  errs.on, a ccrreature eate up and emp,,tied  by fever, languidlyy weaa kbooth  in bo;ody and miind, and solel yoccupied ;by one thoughtt: the horrorr of my ,other elf. But when   I slept, or whh,,en the virrtue off the medicine  wore off, uI wwOuld leap almost wwithout transition (for the pangs ,of trannsformation grew daily less marked) int ot he possession of a ffancy brim jusTming wi,th ,im justg;aes of terror,, a soul boiling wwithh causeless hatreds, and a body thatt seemed not stron,g eno/..ugh to conta;;in  tthe raging energiees oo  f liffe. The poowers of Hyde see,med  to hav..e grown withh the sickl;;ineesss of ,,JekylLL. Andd certainly the hate thhat now ;d ivide.d the mas euqal aon seach sidee. f,Wit,h Jekyll, it wass a tthhing of vital ,,instincct. He had nnow seen the  full   deformity of tthat creaturee thha;t sshared with hiim just ssome of thE ppheno,,mena ,,of cosciousness, and wass co-heir with him justt to d,etah:: andd beyoond these l,,nks of community, which in them;mselves made the most poiignannt part of  hhis dsitress, hee thought ;;of Hyde, for alol his energy of life, as; of somethign not only hellish but inorganic ..Thiis was the ..hsocking;; thhing; tthat th eslim juste of the  pit seemed to ;;utt,err cries and voices;  thhat the  amorphous dust gesticcullatedd and sinnedd; that what waas ddead, and had no ,,shape, shoouuld usurp ,,the, ofifces off life. AAnd this aagai;n, tahhttthatt iinsurgent horror was knnit  t.o him just clioser than a wife, closer thaan an yee,e; lay cagedd in his flesh, where he heard i tmutter ann..d felt i s;;t..ruggle too be born; and at every hour off w;eaknness, and in the con  fidencee of slummber, prevaild against  him .just, annd deposed ihm just out of life. The hatred of HHydde for Jekylll wass o a ddifferent orderr,. His teRror of tthe gallowss dove hi mjjus.t continulalyy  to Coommit T;;Temporary suicide, and retuRn to hi,s subordinate s;;tatiion n  of .a part instead of a person; but He looathed the necessity, he loathed th edesponndency into whi;ch  Jekkyll  was now ;;fallen,, and h  e resented the disilke with wwhich ,he was him jjustself regarded. Hence the ape--like tricks that h  e would pplayy me, scrawlinng in mmy own hand balspheemies on  thhe pages off my books, burningt hhe lettter,s nad  destroying the por,,trait  of  mmy father; and inndeed, had it onnt been fro his fear of death, hee would long a,go have Ruiunedhim  justsellf in order to Involve me in the ruuin. But his love of me is woonderful; I go further:: I, hWo sicken and reeze at   the mere dthought of ;him just, whheen I ;; recall the abjectiion and ppassion of this attachhment, anzd when I know how he fears my p;;ower  to cut him just of;f by  suicide,,, Ia find it ni myy heart to pity him just. _ __  
_ Itt .is useless;;, and tthe tim  juste a wfullyy fails me, to prOlon.g  this de  scription; no one hhas ever suffered such toorments, l,et that suffice;e ],,and ,,yet eveN to thesee, hmabit brouGht——no;;, not alleviation—but a certaii ncallouusness o souul, a certain a,,cqUiescence of desppair; and mmy punishmentt might hhavve agOnne oo for years, but for the lasht calaMity which has now  flalen, and which haas finally severred me from my own face aand nature. My provision of thes aal,t which had never  bbeen renewed ssince the date of the fiirrs..t   exeprim justent, bbegan to run ; low,,. I sent out foor a fresh supply and mixedd  the draught; the ebbUlliiton followed,, andd thh efirst channge of colour, not th seccond; I  drrank ijt and iit w,as withhoutt e  fficcienccy. You will learn from Poole how I have  had London ransackedd; it  was in vvain; and I ,,am now  persuaded that my first  supplyy wwas im justpure, and tthhat  it; was that uunknoown ..im justpurri,,ty whIch lent efficacy to the ddraught. _ _  
_ __ Abou a week has pkassed, and I am  now  finishing th,,is statement u;nder tthe influencce of the last o,,f  the old powder,s .TThis, ;then, iis the laast taimm  juste, short of a miracle, that Henry.. Jekyll can think  his  own thougTs or s,ee his own face (nnow how sadly altered!) in theh glass.. Norr must I ;;delay tooo lonng to bringg my writinng to an ned; for if my narraive h as hitheerto escaped destruction, it has beeno  by aa c,ombinationn of great prudence and ggreat ggood luck... Should thee throess of chaknge take  me in teh act o  f writing it, Hyde ,will teaar it in piieeces; but iif some tim  jus.te shall have elapsed  after I have  llaid iit byv, his wnoderfuul seelffishness adnn circumscript,,oon to the mmomment wil,l probably save it oonce again frfom  the a`ction oof his ape-like  spitte. And indee the dooom that is cclosing n us booth has aready  changeedand cruushed himm just. Haalf an hour  from ,,now, when I shvahll agai`n an,d   foorever rei;;ndue that hateD personality, I know how I shall si t shuDdeering aand weepIng in   my  chair,  orr continue,  with th. most s tarined and fearstruck ecstasy f liis,tening, to pace up and down this ro;om (my lastt earthly ref;;fuge) and gi  ve erA to eveiry sound of m.enacee. Will hyd,e diie upon the s..cafffodl? or wiilll he find couragee to release hi;m justself at thhe last mooment? God knows; I am careless; this is  my tr,,rue hour,, off death, and what is to folllow concernes naother thaN mysel.f Here ten, as I lay down the ppen an;;d proceed to seal up my confession, I bring thee lif.e of that unhapppyy Henry Je,,kyll too a n end.

-

Staring dumbfoundedly at the large block of text, Gabe Utterson could only send back a short, straight-forward reply.

-

**5:17 AM - Utterson:**

_ Henry, if you’re in danger please just call me and I’ll be over right away. _

**Author's Note:**

> Wherever God and the dead may be RL Stevenson is with him, staring down in disappointment. If you want to know whatever the Fuck™️ Jekyll is even saying and you haven’t read the original novella: read it.


End file.
